A Love Letter to the Kingslayer

I suppose Circe was your “always”.  That unconditional force that turned the tide and plowed the harvest. After all, what is a sword without a wielder, a Knight without a Lord? She ruled you – and you loved her for it.

But I am sure that on dark nights when you were made to stand outside her bedchamber and hear Robert belittle all you adore, you must have thought: where would I be without you?

If your Queen had never been, what would have become of you, my love?

You would have Casterly Rock.  You would have sons that could call you father, and a proper wife too.  Though I think any woman would do.  Wench or whore, it matters not, she would be better to you than your Queen ever was.

You would never have worn a white cloak – and never earned the name of so much dishonor.  Kingslayer no more, my love.  Instead you would be called fair Lord Jamie of Casterly Rock.

But your Queen was born, and she made you her creature, her sword, her knight.  You belonged to her.  You love her.  And you, you would do anything for love, wouldn’t you?

I wonder…. was it because she was beautiful? Was it because you saw yourself in her? Or did you just fall because destiny would have it be so?  Does it matter? In the end you had your sister and in doing so you took her schemes, her suspicions and her sins as your own.

Did you have any doubts, my love? And if you did how did you keep your fidelity intact? I think Tyrion had the right of it – you loved her to blindness, to madness.  Oh, the things you have done for love.  You gave Circe your life, your prospects, your children.  You gave her your honor to wear as a dubious crown.  Do you regret it, my love? Do you wish to turn back the years and free yourself from her?

Who are you, my love? And who will you be tomorrow?

I call you Kingslayer now – but what will happen in the morning? What will happen when you face your Queen again? Might you earn a new name for yourself, my love?

I ask you this – what is more honorable?  To take revenge on your tormentor? Or to stand behind her because you vowed to do so.